What is the Deal with Men? *Graphic

Below is a link to a TedTalk by Katz, PhD, speaking about men violence, child abuse, domestic abuse, and other types of male-oriented violence.

"Women who talk about these issues get called...feminazi," says Katz. He has a point.

He mentions this taboo subject---why is it males that do 90% or more of the following:
> child sexual abuse
> beating of girlfriends/wives
> rape (or females, children, males)
> murder (including serial killing, stalker killing, etc...)

Why? Is it testosterone? Is it the "special son" syndrome where parents spoil their sons and not their daughters, making their sons feel entitled? Is it sex-obsessed media? Is it the left-over of third-world hatred of women and their sexual organs?

I never really wanted to mention the fact that all violence can be generalized by one word, and that word is not "preventable", "tragic", or "rare"; it is "man."

***That being said, I think it's funny that you are probably thinking I hate men. I sleep with men, too many men. I will now disclose how many boyfriends I have had: 20. That does not include non-sexual partners that I dated. These are just guys that I slept with. Sometimes they broke it off with me, other times, I ran off. So, knowing that, do I really hate men? Especially considering that I am courting two other males at the present moment? Especially considering that I am linking to a TedTalk male speaker? I love men. I just hate this brainwashing male-violence approving mentality that is prevalent globally. It is soooo third-world.

I think to a certain extent, I am brainwashed to accept male hatred/fear/abuse. But all this brainwashing just makes me more radicalized, more polarized from the brainwashed mentality. Valerie Solanis' SCUM manifesto is tucked away safely in my bedroom. My womb is not open for impregnation, though my legs are often spread. Yes, I hide behind cyberwalls. I do this for my own safety. I exert my right to free speech and to attempt to uphold the constitution barring discrimination based against sex, creed, race, religion, disability, sexual orientation. I HAVE to protect my identity because the real word for "trolls" is "abusers".

Deepest thanks to men who are courageous and ballsy and don't beat up women or rape little kids.  Deepest thanks to the men who I have slept with and never hurt me (that excludes the guy who put a gun to my head and the guy who swore he was putting on a condom like I asked and then shoved it in bare). Deepest thanks to the women who are not totally 100% brainwashed. And fuck you women who hate other women.

Here is the link: GO TEDTALKS!!!
http://www.upworthy.com/a-ted-talk-that-might-turn-every-man-who-watches-it-into-a-feminist-its-pretty-fantastic-7?g=4

On "Killing Us Softly 3: Advertising's Image of Women"

As a University student I have access to a plethora of books and media not available in any other library. I stumbled upon "Killing Us Softly", a lecture by Dr. Jean Kilbourne. Fascinated by the collage of female bodies on the cover, as well as the eerily poignant title, I checked it out and just now watched the film in its entirety.

Maybe you're visiting this little blog again, and if so, you probably know that I am overweight and plagued by insecurity, self-doubt, and shame. I struggle with my weight, am classified as overweight, I'm 28, and going to a University populated by 18 year olds who grew up with the new media technology of airbrushing the female body. Let's just say I don't fit in (not for lack of trying).

This lecture struck a raw nerve. Watching the slideshow presented by Dr. Kilbourne was shocking. One teenage girl after another was being shown in insinuating poses. What reads like dirt is in fact just your typical brand name clothing advertisement. Youth, exploited, held up as ideal, their immature brains unable to fathom what exploitation they are being sucked into.

This lecture made me pull back from the social conditioning that happens on campus. I could, for a moment, perceive something beyond that contemptuous glance I received today from a very skinny young co-ed who sneered at the sight of my thighs as I walked by. So her thighs are thinner than mine. That's fine! So long as she doesn't wreck the grade curve by earning the highest A in the class, I can live with being her sexual inferior. She can keep her thin thighs and I'll keep my fat ones.

This is sad. I don't know what to do about this. It appears to be some sort of divide and conquer strategy, but by whom? Men have the most to gain, true, but women often take matters into their own hands by alienating and belittling those less beautiful than they are. Indeed, I must look at my own actions, because I am probably helping to keep the status quo somehow, without even realizing it.


164 pounds seems too much for me to weigh. Yet, I am more than a number. I am more than a statistic of the American fat epidemic. I wrote many excellent term papers: don't they count for anything? What about the fact that I give up my seat on the bus to little old ladies?


Anyways, I think I'm rambling, so I'll end here with a book, "Deadly Persuasion" by Dr. Jean Kilbourne, that can be found on amazon dot com. Dr. Jean Kilbourne was the lecturer on the DVD I checked out from the campus library. Unfortunately, the DVD, "Killing Us Softly" is not available on amazon. I think it might be out of print, which is sad. :(   But here is a book that covers the same topic!

Book by Jean Kilbourne Because "Killing Us Softly" Is Not Available on amazon dot com

I haven't read it yet, but I will. I did watch the movie "Killing Us Softly" and Dr. Kilbourne has made some startling insights into advertising and women's roles in society. 

A Few Books On Body Image

"Women, Advertising, and Representation: Beyond Familiar Paradigms"; edited by Sue Abel, Marjan deBruin, and Anita Nowak.
I checked out this book this week and my favorite chapter so far is "Lara Croft in Ads", which deals with Lara Croft the video game heroine and her symbolic representation of the ideal woman.

http://www.amazon.com/Women-Advertising-Representation-Paradigms-Communication/dp/1572739274/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1311089242&sr=1-1

"The Body Myth: Adult Women and the Pressure To Be Perfect", by Margo Maine and Joe Kelly
http://www.amazon.com/Body-Myth-Adult-Pressure-Perfect/dp/0471691585/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1311089315&sr=1-1

Another excellent book, "The Body Myth" deals with the scientific truth behind diets, obesity, and health. This is highly important, as all the doctors I have seen are not keeping up with the current research and studies done on health and weight issues. Instead, they spout the usual doctor rhetoric: if you eat well and exercise you will fall into a healthy BMI range. Not true, especially for a former yo-yo dieter, and a disordered eating person with an abnormal glandular problem (thyroid and pituitary glands). The more you diet, the more likely you will become obese in the future. Sound scary? It's been documented in numerous studies.

"Hungry", by Crystal Renn
http://www.amazon.com/Hungry-Appetite-Ambition-Ultimate-Embrace/dp/1439101248/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1311089374&sr=1-1

I am buying this book when I get some cash! Crystal Renn is my favorite model, along with Ashley Graham (the top heavy Lane Bryant model), and I recommend watching her NightLine interview on youtube.

BRAS, bras, and BrAs

We covet them. We dismiss them as "nothing but bags of fat." We play with them. We admire them. We may hate them. But they're there (unless you see surgeon) no matter what. Breasts. Some are big, some are small, some hang down low, some are like rockets launching into outer space, some are natural, some are man-made, some point up, some point down.

Mostly I'll be writing from a full figure perspective, meaning that I wear a higher than average cup size, but I don't mean to exclude the petite frames. All breasts have a story to tell.

Here is a link to Oprah's bra revolution on her website. It's entertaining and there's nothing like seeing the bewildered expression of women who suddenly feel free in their bras which actually fit now.

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/The-Bra-Revolution

There are tips for every size, from petite to ginormous.

There are people who might say that bras are but a modern day man-imposed corset, a symbol of patriarchal manipulation of the female body, but they probably haven't had to exercise with no bra on. Bras are one of the best inventions ever!

Bras!