"Grave," he said, his face attempting some semblance of empathy. He was my social worker who had been assigned to me during my stay in the psychiatric facility. He was in the process of telling me I had paranoid schizo-affective disorder and that I should go on disability. I remember slowly hunching over until my hair fell in front of my face, hiding my dazed expression. Grave. That was the only thing I could think: I have a Grave condition.
I wish I could say the schizophrenia miraculously went away, or that I Found Jesus Christ and learned to bear my burden---neither is the truth. Currently, I am not religious, nor am I completely sane. Too bad. Sanity and Jesus Christ seem to make life more bearable for the general population.
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I made friends with a grad student who I have in two classes. I just met her this month. She has a major disability in that she is blind. She asked to be my study buddy and I agreed. She does not know that I am also disabled; though in a different sense. I am cognitively disabled due to the schizophrenia. She does not know.
Today she mentioned she used to attend a private Christian college. I decided to steer the conversation away from religion but it was too late---she went off on how great a theocracy would be. Now I love the concept of Jesus very much, but I am not keen on any government that is religious. I like the separation between church and state. It is a brilliant idea; one that should be respected and maintained forever.
As a mentally disabled person, the United States constitution is the only thing that protects my rights and freedoms. It decrees I am your equal. I am writing this only because I don't know how to address my new friend. I like her, I just hold the idea of checks and balances and separation of church and state to be the core values of America. They are my core values, at least.
Then it kind of dawned on me that people with a mental handicap are either made to appear like evil wicked people or like "touched-by-God" people when in fact we are neither--we're just people. It has occurred to me that, due to ignorance, the majority of the population does not see disability as a genetic accident; they see it as some sort of God-inferred state, and this scares me because there is no science behind this.
Anyways, I just wanted to say that I am somebody who believes strongly in a scientific approach to understanding mental illness and disabilities in general.
I wish I could say the schizophrenia miraculously went away, or that I Found Jesus Christ and learned to bear my burden---neither is the truth. Currently, I am not religious, nor am I completely sane. Too bad. Sanity and Jesus Christ seem to make life more bearable for the general population.
****************************************************************
I made friends with a grad student who I have in two classes. I just met her this month. She has a major disability in that she is blind. She asked to be my study buddy and I agreed. She does not know that I am also disabled; though in a different sense. I am cognitively disabled due to the schizophrenia. She does not know.
Today she mentioned she used to attend a private Christian college. I decided to steer the conversation away from religion but it was too late---she went off on how great a theocracy would be. Now I love the concept of Jesus very much, but I am not keen on any government that is religious. I like the separation between church and state. It is a brilliant idea; one that should be respected and maintained forever.
As a mentally disabled person, the United States constitution is the only thing that protects my rights and freedoms. It decrees I am your equal. I am writing this only because I don't know how to address my new friend. I like her, I just hold the idea of checks and balances and separation of church and state to be the core values of America. They are my core values, at least.
Then it kind of dawned on me that people with a mental handicap are either made to appear like evil wicked people or like "touched-by-God" people when in fact we are neither--we're just people. It has occurred to me that, due to ignorance, the majority of the population does not see disability as a genetic accident; they see it as some sort of God-inferred state, and this scares me because there is no science behind this.
Anyways, I just wanted to say that I am somebody who believes strongly in a scientific approach to understanding mental illness and disabilities in general.
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