"I Want a Breast Lift" & "Booby Image Issues"

The up and down swings in my weight have had an effect on more than just my body image and appearance; it has affected the size and shape of my breasts. Every time I lose weight my breasts get a little bit smaller. I have gone from a 36FF to a 34G to a 32G in a year and a half. Then, I gained weight and went back from a 32G to a 34G.

Yes, I fail the pencil test. For the record, that pencil test is better suited to see if a B cup or smaller is "perky." If you can put a pencil under your breasts at a 34G and have it fall you must have implants or magical breasts.

Right now, I am not happy with my weight or my breasts. I would like to lose 35 pounds so I can be 135 pounds. My goal to lose weight this summer burst when I found out my ex-boyfriend AND a classmate died this summer. I started to comfort eat. I have it a bit under control now with the help of a counselor, but I am still 165-170 pounds again (earlier in 2012 I weighed 148 pounds). You can always tell when I am stressed out or in mourning when my weight increases. You can tell when I am happy because I lose weight. I am annoyingly predictable that way.

So, my breasts aren't sagging much, but there is some sagging. Still, I have to wonder if comparing myself to augmented Hustler's models is the way to determine my level of sagging. My nipples still point up, but the fleshy tops of my breasts are not as full as they used to be.

In a bra I like what I see, out of a bra, I am only moderately okay with what I see. I may have a breast lift after I lose weight, especially if this sagging gets much worse in the next two years.

Being a 34G can be a hassle. First, everyone assumes that my breasts are big only because I'm so overweight. Not true! When I dropped to 130-135 pounds back in 2009 I was still busting out of my biggest bra; a 36DD (it was far too big in the band and not big enough in the cups, so my real size back then is a mystery). My breasts have just gotten bigger as I aged. At age 29 I dropped down to a 32G, which is smaller than a 34G both in the band and in the cups, but since I turned 30 I am now too wide for the 32 band and too booby for the 32G cup.

Other complaints include: back pain, chronic slouching, chronic scolding from my mother when I stand up straight ("stop sticking out your chest" she yells), chronic wardrobe malfunctions, bras that are too tight and leave indentations along my rib cage, bras that are too loose and leave me with worse back pain, spending 5 minutes every morning deciding just how much cleavage I should show that day and what bra would maximize or minimize my cleavage, not being able to cross my arms because it makes me have massive cleavage (and this is my natural reflex when I am self-conscious or feeling insecure), not being able to run without running out of breathe and enduring tons of boob sweat, having to spend 80 dollars on a bra that fits (and that is just the starting pay for a bra that fits; the better the bra, the more money it costs. 90-130 dollars is a 'good bra'), wanting hot guys to look at my breasts, getting annoyed when much much older men stare at my breasts or make lewd comments about them, trying to ignore when my professors spend more time staring at my boobs then anything else in the room, that awkward moment when I am walking up to their desks with my exam and their eyes are glued to my chest the whole time to the point where I want to just chuck my exam at them from my seat and roll out the door in a ball....the list goes on. It is understandable that having a bigger than average body part(s) can cause people to become curious, but sometimes it is a bit maddening. I start to feel like I am just a pair of boobs walking around waiting for someone to impregnate me. I resent when a male that I am not attracted to says something dirty or keeps staring at my boobs. I should wear a shirt that says "if you read this you better be moderately attractive, within my age range, and not married, or else rich and intelligent." Maybe my standards are too high?

Oh well. I cannot imagine a life without boobs. I used to be pretty flat before the age of 22, so I can still remember preening for the mirror and imagining what a C cup would look like on me. Now I am a G cup. So, for now I'll just go watch a BBC documentary called "My big breasts and me," a short film that follows pretty women with big boobs as they wander around complaining about their big boobs.

Yeah, today is definitely a major cleavage day. I'm pulling out my mio destino bra for this morning. Have a great day! May the boob force be with you!

33 Band, 41 Bust: Or How I Lost My Boobs

Last year I was around 170 pounds with a bust measurement of 35 beneath the bust and 44 around the bust. I hated my weight but I loved the fullness of my breasts. 44 just sounded so nice, like boobs that shot out into outer-space.

I did the periodic check on my body. I lost quite a bit of weight. Today I weighed 159 pounds, but what surprised me was my bust measurements. I lost weight---everywhere! From a 36 inch measurement beneath my bust I went down to a 33 inch measurement. Worse, I went from a 44 inch bust line to a 41 inch bust line. I checked three times, yes, 41 inches when pulled tightly across my bust. Where did the remaining 3 inches go?

Many women complain about the size of their breasts being unsatisfactory. They are self-conscious about their breast size. Or else they complain about back pain. I do get back pain, sore breasts, and that self-conscious posture where the shoulders are hunched. Yet I liked my breast size. More importantly, I had spent a few hundred dollars finding bras that fit my size (my size used to be a 36FF in UK sizes). Now what do I do? I have hundreds of dollars worth of bras that don't fit properly! They are suddenly too wide in the band, causing back pain, and those dreaded wrinkles in the cups have appeared, indicating I need to go down a cup size.

This is very awkward for me. My weight goes up, my weight goes down, my boobs engorge, my boobs shrink. Now, I not only have to purchase another two hundred dollars of bras (with which I can buy all of four bras since each costs minimum fifty bucks), but I have to go change all my facebook and myspace pictures to show the lighter, flatter me.

I am getting financial aid in August when I enter a Master's program. Likely, I will have to spend quite a number of Benjamins to find new bras that are flattering, lifting, tight in the band, and comfortable in the cup. I will go to Nordstroms and get properly fitted, since I am really tired of playing the guessing game with expensive bras. I will likely be a 34FF or a 34F instead of the 34G that just barely fits me right now.

Men are lucky. They buy boxers or briefs and they never have to get their goods fitted in order to buy the right pair of briefs. Women, on the other hand, are a custom fit. That would be fine if being a custom order didn't cost so much money!

On the up side, despite losing 3 inches, I also lost weight which makes me look bustier in some weird circus mirror way. Just the other day I was at a store when some man said something to me about my breasts. While this comment was unwanted and made me uncomfortable, it did show me that my boobs have not entirely disappeared off the face of the planet, for better or for worse.

Thanks for reading! :)

Shopping For Bras When Busty

Shopping for bras when busty is an expensive endeavor. You would think that the lack of cotton stuffing that makes your cup size look bigger would equal a cheaper price. But apparently not, the added features of push-up bras, padded bras and water bras do not come close in price to making a sturdy bra for larger breasted women. The latter is way more expensive to purchase, though they never have water or cotton padding, or any real push-up structure. 

I feel like talking about breasts today.

My breasts are a little heavier than the norm. Then again, I am heavier than the norm, coming in at 163 pounds and only 5' 1" or 5' 2". It only makes sense that my breasts would be heavier, as breasts are largely tissue and fat, and I have lots of both! 

Finding the right bra is like finding the right man---some don't fit right, some fit okay for a while, others you just try on and then never bother with them again....so it goes. Right now I am wearing a bra that just came in the mail. I ordered it on amazon dot com. It is a transparent, lace-trimmed Panache bra. I got this bra on sale and it still cost me over thirty bucks. It is a 34G. It fits well, in fact, I might be in love. I wore a 36F bra by Mio Destino to school today and I had a lot of cleavage. The day before I wore a 36FF bra and I still had a lot of cleavage. Sometimes, I wear a 36G bra and a 38DDD bra. The 38DDD bras are all too loose in the band and they do not support my breasts, so I quit wearing them. The 36G bra is great for total coverage, but it doesn't let me have any cleavage. 

Bras are so hard to figure out. Right now I really like the fit of the 34G bra---it is tight enough in the band to keep my posture correct and it fits snugly (without causing that unsightly bulging effect). Right now my measurements are 34.5 inches beneath the bust and 45 inches around the bust. That is about 10 inches, slightly more, of a difference, so you can imagine that my back gets sore if I am not properly supported. 

Yes, I know, some might feel that bras are a hold-over from antiquated times when women were kept in corsets and given love seats to faint onto, but try doing 2 minutes of jumping up and down for a judo class warm-up without a heavy duty sports bra and then tell me bras are a feminist issue. Lipstick, maybe. Bras, no way! Bras are like shoes for my boobs!

Bra, Where Art Thou?

I was one of those women who wear a bra that doesn't fit. The band was too loose and it left a welt on the side of my back. The cups were too small and I was always bursting out in a rather vulgar way. I thought being a 38DD was pretty large already, what would I need with an even bigger bra? But when my mother bought me a 38DD bra from Target I realized I would have to find a seller who catered for large chests. The poor bra seemed about to snap on my first attempt to wriggle my breasts into the small DD cups. I finally squeezed my breasts inside the cups and I got that bubble effect, you know, when the breasts are just so cramped that they look like two fleshy bubbles popping out. As much I liked the nice "wow"'s I got on campus from random guys, I felt conspicuous. University is not the place to run around in class looking like an escort service reject.

I went on the hunt for that elusive bra: one that fit snugly in the band, improved my posture, lessened my back pain, and didn't cause my breasts to look like two helium balloons about to fly out of shirt and off into the blue sky. My hunt took me everywhere, Target, Kohl's, Ross, Cacique, and that's on foot! I also wound up spending all my hard-earned University grant money on buying bras through the internet that I hadn't tried on. It was an expensive guessing game, one that I hope you don't have to go through.

I am not there yet. I am still calling, "Bra, where art thou?" If you sew all my ill-fitting bras together you could probably build a nice sized tent to sleep inside of; that's how many I now own.

I've learned through trial and error where to go for a bra. That place is not a department store. It's not a discount store. It's not any store in America. If you want a bra that fits you'll have to have a credit or debit card or at least a paypal account, lots of cash,  a measuring tape, and a good sense of humor.

Here are tricks I've learned the past few months on my quest for the elusive Perfect Bra.

~The band size is probably one size smaller than you think you are. I made the mistake of assuming I was a 38 band size. My back pain should have told me otherwise. A scar on my back from an ill-fitting bra (38DD) should have told me otherwise. The bra depends on a tight band to keep your breasts up. It's not the straps, it's the band. I ordered a 36 band and voila my posture improved!

~The cup size is probably at least 1 cup larger than you think. Here, it gets tricky. Breast math isn't taught in college trig class, so I had to navigate on the internet through multiple techniques of finding the correct cup size. The general rule of thumb is that you measure tightly beneath the breasts and around the back to give you a band size. Mine is actually around 35, but being a 34 band size with my cup size is hard to believe.
Next, you measure loosely around the largest part of your breasts. Don't turn the measuring tape into a corset. Make sure the measuring tape is loose enough for your breasts to breathe.
Some people endorse measuring above the breasts. This technique means you take the 2 numbers, above and beneath the breasts, pick the biggest number, and compare it to the measurement of your bust line.

For example, I get topless and wrap the measuring tape below, at, and above my bust. I look at how many inches it reads. Below is 35. Across my breasts equals 45 inches. Above my breast is 37-38 inches. I would take 38, the largest number, and then compare it to my bust measurement (45). There is some magical chart on line that lets you look at the comparison number (7 inches from top to bust line) and it shows you the corresponding cup size. Mine, is in those foreign letters, H or HH or whatever DDDD equals.

BUT, yes, there is a but, BUT it doesn't always work. For me, the tops of my breast are rather plump, thus screwing up my band size. According to the guidelines, I would be a 38 band. But 38 is too loose. I need a nice, tight fit. The band should buckle on the tightest and the loosest bra without a significant amount of discomfort. So there goes that...

The best way to do this is to wager on a smaller band size and a larger cup size than you think you are.

The closest fit I  have right now is a 36H (36FF in UK measurements). And 36 D*2 squared is  not a size they carry in Kohl's, unless I don't mind being minimized into a C-looking, Playtex, hidden-boob syndrome bra (more on hidden-boob syndrome later). Where to go?

ONLINE!! The UK is notorious for having such voluptuous breasted women that BBC even devoted an hour long documentary to the topic of heavy chested women ("My Big Breasts And Me", check it out!!). Unlike the US, they don't ignore the new "epidemic" of heavy busted women, some of whom are obese. They actually will ORDER large cup sizes and OFFER them for sale!! This still amazes me. I thought I was going to have to go the ace-bandage route.

Here are some places for Americans to go. I've sorted through them by hard-to-find all the way to what-kind-of-letter-is-K-for-a-bra.

CACIQUE

If you have at least a 38 band try Cacique, which is under the Lane Bryant chain. Just type in "Cacique" into Google and you're set. The problem is, if you're a smaller band size than 38 or 40, Cacique will only carry cup sizes up to DDD. At the band size 40 and up, however, they do carry up to an H cup. They offer cute bras: t-shirt bras, plunge bras, lacy bras, minimizer bras, and so forth. Their prices range from twenty bucks to forty bucks.

http://cacique.lanebryant.com/

BARE NECESSITIES

This place is your one-stop booby shop. Are you a 28DD (I envy you)? What about a 56J (whoa, J?!)? Then come to bare necessities. They carry lots of brands, lots of styles, lots of sizes, and lots of sales. They sell the most popular brands for big breasted babes: wacoal, chantelle, la mystere, Goddess, and more! Sign up for their email notices and get first dibs on big sales.

www.barenecessities.com

Here are some more, but be prepared to dip into your piggy bank, as these designer bras can reach 150 US dollars!
www.figleaves.com

http://www.wacoal-america.com/ (Around 40 bucks for my size, not too bad, not too cheap)

Okay, but what if you want more variety? What if you don't mind mentally converting US dollars into UK currency? Then check out:

http://www.bravissimo.com/ Their prices start around 30 UK pounds, which converts to....well, you do the math. Okay, fine, I will. It comes to about 48 bucks in American dollars.



http://www.miodestino.co.uk/boutique/ is another great place to find bras! Prices range from 30 pounds to upwards of 130 pounds.



What if you don't want to convert currency or shop in a fancy boutique overseas? Well, luckily, there are importers who make these bras available to the US market on major sites.


www.amazon.com They accept credit cards and debit cards. Amazon is seen as safe to store your financial information. They have Freya bras, La Mystere bras, Elomi, Panache, Fantasie, Anita, and more!


www.ebay.com is another great place to shop. Just activate a paypal account, transfer money from your bank into paypal, and start shopping. You can either search for "buy now" merchandise or make a bid on an auction item. Just some tips, if you don't want to wear hand-me-downs, select the "new" feature on ebay that lets you weed out second-hand bras. If you don't mind wearing second-hand bras, make sure you handwash your bra and hang it out to dry before you put it on, just in case the person before you was a nursing mother. There is a huge variety of bras on ebay, just not in the KK range, but still, enough to get your bra collection started at a reasonable price. Also, they don't always convert US bra cup sizes into US sizes, so be aware that an American H cup equals a UK FF cup...and so forth.



So there it is, bras, bras, bras. If you need more advice, check youtube for bra fitting advice, or stop by Oprah's website and get some good info on her bra revolution.