Bra, Where Art Thou?

I was one of those women who wear a bra that doesn't fit. The band was too loose and it left a welt on the side of my back. The cups were too small and I was always bursting out in a rather vulgar way. I thought being a 38DD was pretty large already, what would I need with an even bigger bra? But when my mother bought me a 38DD bra from Target I realized I would have to find a seller who catered for large chests. The poor bra seemed about to snap on my first attempt to wriggle my breasts into the small DD cups. I finally squeezed my breasts inside the cups and I got that bubble effect, you know, when the breasts are just so cramped that they look like two fleshy bubbles popping out. As much I liked the nice "wow"'s I got on campus from random guys, I felt conspicuous. University is not the place to run around in class looking like an escort service reject.

I went on the hunt for that elusive bra: one that fit snugly in the band, improved my posture, lessened my back pain, and didn't cause my breasts to look like two helium balloons about to fly out of shirt and off into the blue sky. My hunt took me everywhere, Target, Kohl's, Ross, Cacique, and that's on foot! I also wound up spending all my hard-earned University grant money on buying bras through the internet that I hadn't tried on. It was an expensive guessing game, one that I hope you don't have to go through.

I am not there yet. I am still calling, "Bra, where art thou?" If you sew all my ill-fitting bras together you could probably build a nice sized tent to sleep inside of; that's how many I now own.

I've learned through trial and error where to go for a bra. That place is not a department store. It's not a discount store. It's not any store in America. If you want a bra that fits you'll have to have a credit or debit card or at least a paypal account, lots of cash,  a measuring tape, and a good sense of humor.

Here are tricks I've learned the past few months on my quest for the elusive Perfect Bra.

~The band size is probably one size smaller than you think you are. I made the mistake of assuming I was a 38 band size. My back pain should have told me otherwise. A scar on my back from an ill-fitting bra (38DD) should have told me otherwise. The bra depends on a tight band to keep your breasts up. It's not the straps, it's the band. I ordered a 36 band and voila my posture improved!

~The cup size is probably at least 1 cup larger than you think. Here, it gets tricky. Breast math isn't taught in college trig class, so I had to navigate on the internet through multiple techniques of finding the correct cup size. The general rule of thumb is that you measure tightly beneath the breasts and around the back to give you a band size. Mine is actually around 35, but being a 34 band size with my cup size is hard to believe.
Next, you measure loosely around the largest part of your breasts. Don't turn the measuring tape into a corset. Make sure the measuring tape is loose enough for your breasts to breathe.
Some people endorse measuring above the breasts. This technique means you take the 2 numbers, above and beneath the breasts, pick the biggest number, and compare it to the measurement of your bust line.

For example, I get topless and wrap the measuring tape below, at, and above my bust. I look at how many inches it reads. Below is 35. Across my breasts equals 45 inches. Above my breast is 37-38 inches. I would take 38, the largest number, and then compare it to my bust measurement (45). There is some magical chart on line that lets you look at the comparison number (7 inches from top to bust line) and it shows you the corresponding cup size. Mine, is in those foreign letters, H or HH or whatever DDDD equals.

BUT, yes, there is a but, BUT it doesn't always work. For me, the tops of my breast are rather plump, thus screwing up my band size. According to the guidelines, I would be a 38 band. But 38 is too loose. I need a nice, tight fit. The band should buckle on the tightest and the loosest bra without a significant amount of discomfort. So there goes that...

The best way to do this is to wager on a smaller band size and a larger cup size than you think you are.

The closest fit I  have right now is a 36H (36FF in UK measurements). And 36 D*2 squared is  not a size they carry in Kohl's, unless I don't mind being minimized into a C-looking, Playtex, hidden-boob syndrome bra (more on hidden-boob syndrome later). Where to go?

ONLINE!! The UK is notorious for having such voluptuous breasted women that BBC even devoted an hour long documentary to the topic of heavy chested women ("My Big Breasts And Me", check it out!!). Unlike the US, they don't ignore the new "epidemic" of heavy busted women, some of whom are obese. They actually will ORDER large cup sizes and OFFER them for sale!! This still amazes me. I thought I was going to have to go the ace-bandage route.

Here are some places for Americans to go. I've sorted through them by hard-to-find all the way to what-kind-of-letter-is-K-for-a-bra.

CACIQUE

If you have at least a 38 band try Cacique, which is under the Lane Bryant chain. Just type in "Cacique" into Google and you're set. The problem is, if you're a smaller band size than 38 or 40, Cacique will only carry cup sizes up to DDD. At the band size 40 and up, however, they do carry up to an H cup. They offer cute bras: t-shirt bras, plunge bras, lacy bras, minimizer bras, and so forth. Their prices range from twenty bucks to forty bucks.

http://cacique.lanebryant.com/

BARE NECESSITIES

This place is your one-stop booby shop. Are you a 28DD (I envy you)? What about a 56J (whoa, J?!)? Then come to bare necessities. They carry lots of brands, lots of styles, lots of sizes, and lots of sales. They sell the most popular brands for big breasted babes: wacoal, chantelle, la mystere, Goddess, and more! Sign up for their email notices and get first dibs on big sales.

www.barenecessities.com

Here are some more, but be prepared to dip into your piggy bank, as these designer bras can reach 150 US dollars!
www.figleaves.com

http://www.wacoal-america.com/ (Around 40 bucks for my size, not too bad, not too cheap)

Okay, but what if you want more variety? What if you don't mind mentally converting US dollars into UK currency? Then check out:

http://www.bravissimo.com/ Their prices start around 30 UK pounds, which converts to....well, you do the math. Okay, fine, I will. It comes to about 48 bucks in American dollars.



http://www.miodestino.co.uk/boutique/ is another great place to find bras! Prices range from 30 pounds to upwards of 130 pounds.



What if you don't want to convert currency or shop in a fancy boutique overseas? Well, luckily, there are importers who make these bras available to the US market on major sites.


www.amazon.com They accept credit cards and debit cards. Amazon is seen as safe to store your financial information. They have Freya bras, La Mystere bras, Elomi, Panache, Fantasie, Anita, and more!


www.ebay.com is another great place to shop. Just activate a paypal account, transfer money from your bank into paypal, and start shopping. You can either search for "buy now" merchandise or make a bid on an auction item. Just some tips, if you don't want to wear hand-me-downs, select the "new" feature on ebay that lets you weed out second-hand bras. If you don't mind wearing second-hand bras, make sure you handwash your bra and hang it out to dry before you put it on, just in case the person before you was a nursing mother. There is a huge variety of bras on ebay, just not in the KK range, but still, enough to get your bra collection started at a reasonable price. Also, they don't always convert US bra cup sizes into US sizes, so be aware that an American H cup equals a UK FF cup...and so forth.



So there it is, bras, bras, bras. If you need more advice, check youtube for bra fitting advice, or stop by Oprah's website and get some good info on her bra revolution.