White Roses Pointing To Heaven

I'm going to be posting up photographs I take around town to liven up this blog, as I don't want it to be purely grief-ridden scribbles your eyes are bombarded by.

This photo is dedicated to my cousin who committed suicide last month, 2011. He was 24, 4 years younger than myself.

Dear R--

Hopefully, you're in heaven, or maybe you're an Aztec hummingbird fluttering around. Either way, you're always in my heart and mind. Nothing can replace you, wish you knew that when you were alive.

Family and friends of suicide don't get the usual sympathy from people. I told a couple, some friends of mine, who I've known closely for a little less than a year, and they never responded to my email. We were supposed to hang out at their house last week but they didn't send me an email, so I guess we're not friends anymore. I don't understand; apprehension and confusion is one thing, but totally alienating me is another. They had offered condolences up until I mentioned it was a suicide. Perhaps it was too much for them, I'll never know.

On a lighter note, my college summer courses are going very well. Learning a foreign alphabet is a challenge, but it's worth the hard work.

Also, on a more superficial note, I've lost enough weight to fit into a size 14. My size 16 pants, which I was wearing up until this month, were all hanging off of my hips and I thought, nah, can't be that I need a smaller size...but I did! They fit snug but not too tight. On the plus side, I'm a size 14, which is down by a dress size. On the bad side, I have to go buy a new wardrobe so I can go to college without my pants slipping of me while I walk. Clothes=money. Me=no money.