If I Eat Chicken Today Am I Traitor To the Vegetarian Cause?

I ate chicken and I feel a little guilty. Well, I feel pretty guilty. It doesn't taste good to me anymore, not after 4 months of going cold turkey off of turkey, chicken, and beef. I wasn't keeping up with my protein subs though, and I was feeling weak, physically and emotionally weak, and I made shredded chicken quesadillas with salsa. 

I got started as a vegetarian when a young woman approached me on a campus with a smile on her face. I assumed she must be handing me some Christian propaganda and I refused it. She offered it again. I took it, mostly out of pity than anything, and I was surprised to find it was a pamphlet for an anti-animal cruelty, pro-vegetarian group. Later that day, I flipped through it, reading the text and gawking at horrible photographs of pigs with their cute tails chopped off, each pig crammed in so tight they couldn't move, and a cow with a skinned face, it's eyes open in horror and pain. It startled me. It went against my belief that animals should be killed humanely. So I quit meat. I tossed out my hamburger patties and frozen chicken breasts and I began to refuse to eat eggs as well as flesh meat.

Morally, I felt better about myself because I wasn't condoning the cruelty of typical warehouse style slaughterhouses. I also asked my uncle if this treatment was common, as he used to work at a slaughterhouse, and it turned out it is a lot more common than the industry lets on. I won't repeat what happened to the animals whose deaths he witnessed, it's graphic and I don't want to repeat what wicked things go on behind closed warehouse doors. Suffice it to say, it was enough to over-ride my taste buds (my taste buds love meat) and it kept me from eating meat or eggs for about 4 months, up until my cousin's death last week. Then, during that stressful period, I began to eat chicken. It didn't taste as good knowing how the animal had died, but chicken is a comfort food for me, and I really needed comfort food. 

So here I am, 2 corn tortilla chicken quesadillas later, feeling remorseful. I apologize to the chicken I just ate. 

When I eat chicken I feel like I just binge ate. I feel remorse, guilt, weakness, gluttony, and full on meat. I don't like feeling full at all, it means I haven't made progress eating or standing for a cause. Again, don't follow my lead; chicken is easily replaced by non-meaty tofu and tofu saves a chicken from unspeakable cruelty.