I always wanted to write a book, but agents are expensive and the market is primarily for mystery or romance, so I guess my manuscript "Skizzy Lizzie: Autobiography of a Paranoid Schizophrenic" will never be.....how sad (sad face).
I guess I'll make due with this blog and the few folks who stop by to play the voyeur. Thanks for stopping in to read this, by the way! I like to see that people are interested in learning what it is like to be a person with a mental illness. I only hope I am worthy of your attention!
I told my psychologist about the Stanford lecturer and his tales of goat killing, maniacal schizophrenics. She told me this would be something I would likely encounter again in the future, and this made me very sad. Sometimes I feel like a pioneer, being in college after receiving a grim prognosis, but other times I feel very small and pathetic, like maybe I can complete my degree, but only after years of struggling, and even then the big question looms: what will I do for money?
I'm 28 years old and I still don't have my degree. I am slated to graduate after taking 2 summer courses in early June. I'm 28 and I don't have any relevant work experience, unless you count delivering pizzas as relevant, and most companies would just scoff. I'm 28 and I'm not married, I don't have offspring, I live with my family, and I go to school with kids who think 23 years is really, really old.
It could be worse, though. Memories of being in a hospital are much worse. You'd think the security would be good, but it's not. The nurses all hide in their rooms and I've had several instances of perverted older men sneak into my room and try things....mental institutions are not day spas. They are not safe. They are remnants of some barbaric practice of subjugation and horror from the Middle Ages. I get restrained onto gurneys every time they ship me from one hospital to another by EMT's with no thought as to the fear that comes with being tied up. They don't even look into my eyes, they just grab me as though my body were state property, push me back into a flat, lying position, and handcuff me to a stretcher. No reason, no justification, not even a little, "this is for your own good" speech, just instant and unnecessary force. I can honestly say I have never hit or attacked anybody in my years of being actively psychotic----so what legal justification is there for tying me to a bed during the ambulance ride?
If you're schizophrenic like I am, maybe you've been through this: the brutality of the mental health system, the death threats of deranged, possibly drug using patients, the presence of felons who are likely faking mental illness to get a few weeks out of their cell, nurses that do not protect your mental well being, social workers who think all mental patients need disability money and a good, soft pillow for sleeping (because that's all they should do---sleep!), and an outpatient service system that is bordering on bankruptcy. Here are some links I found helpful. If (or when) I am hospitalized again, I am writing the number of my local ACLU branch on my arm in ink so that I can have 24/7 access to my legal rights.
San Diego Branch of the ACLU: Phone: (619) 232-2121 (American Civil Liberties Union)
website: http://www.aclusandiego.org
I input San Diego since I'm in Central California. For more information, please see the main ACLU page at : http://www.aclu.org/
Find your local NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill): NAMI locations
Your Rights as a Patient in a Psychiatric Facility: Patient Bill of Rights at healthyminds.org
Remember, every moment you step up for the rights of the mentally ill is potentially one less time somebody else in the future will have to do the same. :)
I guess I'll make due with this blog and the few folks who stop by to play the voyeur. Thanks for stopping in to read this, by the way! I like to see that people are interested in learning what it is like to be a person with a mental illness. I only hope I am worthy of your attention!
I told my psychologist about the Stanford lecturer and his tales of goat killing, maniacal schizophrenics. She told me this would be something I would likely encounter again in the future, and this made me very sad. Sometimes I feel like a pioneer, being in college after receiving a grim prognosis, but other times I feel very small and pathetic, like maybe I can complete my degree, but only after years of struggling, and even then the big question looms: what will I do for money?
I'm 28 years old and I still don't have my degree. I am slated to graduate after taking 2 summer courses in early June. I'm 28 and I don't have any relevant work experience, unless you count delivering pizzas as relevant, and most companies would just scoff. I'm 28 and I'm not married, I don't have offspring, I live with my family, and I go to school with kids who think 23 years is really, really old.
It could be worse, though. Memories of being in a hospital are much worse. You'd think the security would be good, but it's not. The nurses all hide in their rooms and I've had several instances of perverted older men sneak into my room and try things....mental institutions are not day spas. They are not safe. They are remnants of some barbaric practice of subjugation and horror from the Middle Ages. I get restrained onto gurneys every time they ship me from one hospital to another by EMT's with no thought as to the fear that comes with being tied up. They don't even look into my eyes, they just grab me as though my body were state property, push me back into a flat, lying position, and handcuff me to a stretcher. No reason, no justification, not even a little, "this is for your own good" speech, just instant and unnecessary force. I can honestly say I have never hit or attacked anybody in my years of being actively psychotic----so what legal justification is there for tying me to a bed during the ambulance ride?
If you're schizophrenic like I am, maybe you've been through this: the brutality of the mental health system, the death threats of deranged, possibly drug using patients, the presence of felons who are likely faking mental illness to get a few weeks out of their cell, nurses that do not protect your mental well being, social workers who think all mental patients need disability money and a good, soft pillow for sleeping (because that's all they should do---sleep!), and an outpatient service system that is bordering on bankruptcy. Here are some links I found helpful. If (or when) I am hospitalized again, I am writing the number of my local ACLU branch on my arm in ink so that I can have 24/7 access to my legal rights.
San Diego Branch of the ACLU: Phone: (619) 232-2121 (American Civil Liberties Union)
website: http://www.aclusandiego.org
I input San Diego since I'm in Central California. For more information, please see the main ACLU page at : http://www.aclu.org/
Find your local NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill): NAMI locations
Your Rights as a Patient in a Psychiatric Facility: Patient Bill of Rights at healthyminds.org
Remember, every moment you step up for the rights of the mentally ill is potentially one less time somebody else in the future will have to do the same. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment
No spam or hate mail, please. Thanks for your interest!