I don't think I am a good role model for people who have a mental illness. I have had rough periods where I associated with abusive men, I smoked marijuana, I partied. However, I'm not a criminal either. I'm human. A woman who grew up in a low-income neighborhood with all the stressors of gangs, drugs, school drop-out rates, and my own set of personal tragedies. There are people out there who have done much worse in life, people who are in jail, and many of them do not have a major mental illness. So that is a positive thing about me: I am law abiding. I try to be polite to people. I try to empathize with the pain of others.
The worst, most self-destructive periods of my life have been, ironically, when I was following doctors' orders to avoid stress. Alright, I will do nothing, I thought. Then I wound up tolerating the boredom and hopelessness by smoking marijuana and dating men who were unkind, to say the least. Not all the men were unkind, there were some gentle souls in there who were as lost and wandering in spirit as I was. We cared for each other, gave each other the support nobody else would dare give us.
I went through periods of unemployment because my doctor said I should not work. It made my life worse, as I could not afford the things that made me feel better: art supplies, music, internet, mp3 players, and books. I eventually found a menial job which made my life better but irked my psychiatrist. I lived with feeling like I had no right to put pepperoni on a pizza; who was I to make pizzas for money? This is a horrible thing to do a person, to make them feel so alienated from society that working a menial job makes them feel like they are doing something taboo. Don't tell me that to be poor and unemployed is in my best interest. Have you ever been penniless? How does that help me avoid stress?
Here is a link to a New York Times blog about people with a schizophrenic or schizo-affective diagnosis who are somehow high functioning and successful. I am in a bad mood right now because I read all the comments by readers following the article and the majority of these comments are lacking in critical thought. Many suggest that the mentally ill go back into the shadows and leave the real world for the "Normals." Many attack the study that proves schizophrenics can be successful. They suggest the results are a fluke, or worse, give "false hope" to the hopeless. False hope? If you are hopeless already, who is to say that false hope would make you anymore hopeless? I swear someone said this! Oxymoron.
Still, at least the New York Times is promoting equality, inclusion, and hope.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/10/23/studying-successful-people-with-mental-illness/
By Fall 2012 I will have my Bachelor's Degree. After I receive it, I will go job hunting or perhaps my application for graduate school will be approved. Either way, when I am stressed out with finals or mourning my recently departed love ones, I can always soothe myself by saying, "this could be worse. I could be lying in bed with nothing to do, with no reason to get out of bed, and nobody to believe I can succeed."
Thank you, New York Times Blogger! I am grateful to you for having the courage to post an article about a study that proves the mentally ill should not be treated like invalids!
The worst, most self-destructive periods of my life have been, ironically, when I was following doctors' orders to avoid stress. Alright, I will do nothing, I thought. Then I wound up tolerating the boredom and hopelessness by smoking marijuana and dating men who were unkind, to say the least. Not all the men were unkind, there were some gentle souls in there who were as lost and wandering in spirit as I was. We cared for each other, gave each other the support nobody else would dare give us.
I went through periods of unemployment because my doctor said I should not work. It made my life worse, as I could not afford the things that made me feel better: art supplies, music, internet, mp3 players, and books. I eventually found a menial job which made my life better but irked my psychiatrist. I lived with feeling like I had no right to put pepperoni on a pizza; who was I to make pizzas for money? This is a horrible thing to do a person, to make them feel so alienated from society that working a menial job makes them feel like they are doing something taboo. Don't tell me that to be poor and unemployed is in my best interest. Have you ever been penniless? How does that help me avoid stress?
Here is a link to a New York Times blog about people with a schizophrenic or schizo-affective diagnosis who are somehow high functioning and successful. I am in a bad mood right now because I read all the comments by readers following the article and the majority of these comments are lacking in critical thought. Many suggest that the mentally ill go back into the shadows and leave the real world for the "Normals." Many attack the study that proves schizophrenics can be successful. They suggest the results are a fluke, or worse, give "false hope" to the hopeless. False hope? If you are hopeless already, who is to say that false hope would make you anymore hopeless? I swear someone said this! Oxymoron.
Still, at least the New York Times is promoting equality, inclusion, and hope.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/10/23/studying-successful-people-with-mental-illness/
By Fall 2012 I will have my Bachelor's Degree. After I receive it, I will go job hunting or perhaps my application for graduate school will be approved. Either way, when I am stressed out with finals or mourning my recently departed love ones, I can always soothe myself by saying, "this could be worse. I could be lying in bed with nothing to do, with no reason to get out of bed, and nobody to believe I can succeed."
Thank you, New York Times Blogger! I am grateful to you for having the courage to post an article about a study that proves the mentally ill should not be treated like invalids!
Thank you, I will look at your blog! Thanks for the comment! :)
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