I was watching a youtube video yesterday by a woman who lost a lot of weight and is now very, very slim. She talked to her audience about the shrinking breast size that comes with weight loss. She went from a D cup to an A cup! She then told her audience, "I'm better this way, because I am healthier. Men aren't worth being fat." Ouch, I thought. I do not want to be fat anymore, but neither do I want to be an A cup. Am I doomed to being one or the other?
I am 162, sometimes down to 159 pounds, but I am only 5'2" so this means I am borderline clinically obese, or very overweight. My breasts fit best in a bra that is a UK size 34FF in Panache bras, and 34G in other bras. Most of my weight winds up in my thighs, followed second by my butt, followed third by my gut. I wish there was a way to spot check these areas and avoid losing weight in my breasts, but this is not possible. When I was 15-21 years old I was about 112 pounds, 115 pounds at my heaviest, but my breasts were a small B cup. I always wanted big breasts. I envied women with pendulous breasts and curvy silhouettes.
Then I got what I wanted but with a steep price. At age 23 I had a major psychotic episode and I was hospitalized. The doctor prescribed me Zyprexa, an atypical antipsychotic with notorious weight gain side effects. It was designed to eliminate psychotic symptoms but it caused massive, immediate weight gain for as long as one takes it. Naturally, I got very fat. I reached 184-190 pounds, which is actually lucky for somebody on anti-psychotics, as many of these new drugs can cause people to become super obese.
My boobs got obese as well. They swelled with the rest of me; from a tiny B cup to a DD cup to a size that I could not find in my local stores. Either the cup didn't fit or the band was so wide in circumference that it would not stay in place, but rather hung around my hips like a hula hoop. Manufacturers assume that people with a medium band have medium breasts and people with larger breasts have a very wide torso. I would make due with a 36DD until that became too small in the cups. I started shopping online to get bigger sizes. I fit the cups of a 38DDD but the band was too big and I wound up getting too many back aches.
I have been regularly exercising since April of last year. I have begun to count my calories and restrict them to 1200-1400 calories daily (I use "Calorie Counter" made by fitness pal, a calorie counting app for android phones). By using a stationary bike, a rowing machine, free weights, taking a judo class, a dance class, and doing aerobics at home, I have lost about 25 pounds from a year ago when I weighed 184. Now around 161 pounds, my boobs lost about 2 inches, but they are still on the large side.
I am still in the process of losing weight. I will stop when I get back to 131 pounds. I lost a lot of weight two years ago, dropping from around 180 to 130 pounds in a matter of months, but I did this through unhealthy means (i.e. crash dieting) and I gained all the weight back and probably damaged my metabolic system during the time when I was crash dieting. I will not crash diet again and if you are crash dieting, please stop! There are healthy ways to lose weight, they just take a little longer to get to your goal.
Anyways, I really hope I am still top heavy when I get to my ideal weight. I have become very fond of being buxom. No, it is not just because that is what men like. I want to look like a woman I could be attracted to (I am a closet bisexual), and my dream woman looks more like Marilyn Monroe than Paris Hilton.
One time, funny story, I was walking to a grocery store and I caught sight of a woman with an amazing, hour-glass figure. Her thick hips swayed as she walked and her waist was surprisingly narrow. I was so taken by her physical appearance that I was walking with my head turned to look at her as she passed. Then suddenly--BANG! I walked right into a pole. I got a little bruise on my cheek from slamming into the pole. I will always remember that woman and her amazing curves, she is my ideal in terms of physical appearance. As for personality, I love, love, love this girl who used to be in my British literature class. She was a fellow linguistics major, studied Japanese, and was so brilliant that she aced all her tests in all her classes.
Sorry, I keep going off on tangents, but I am not editing this at all. Right now I am just typing into the blog without a thought as to flow or coherence. Well, if William Burroughs can do it, so can I! :)
Thanks for reading!
I am 162, sometimes down to 159 pounds, but I am only 5'2" so this means I am borderline clinically obese, or very overweight. My breasts fit best in a bra that is a UK size 34FF in Panache bras, and 34G in other bras. Most of my weight winds up in my thighs, followed second by my butt, followed third by my gut. I wish there was a way to spot check these areas and avoid losing weight in my breasts, but this is not possible. When I was 15-21 years old I was about 112 pounds, 115 pounds at my heaviest, but my breasts were a small B cup. I always wanted big breasts. I envied women with pendulous breasts and curvy silhouettes.
Then I got what I wanted but with a steep price. At age 23 I had a major psychotic episode and I was hospitalized. The doctor prescribed me Zyprexa, an atypical antipsychotic with notorious weight gain side effects. It was designed to eliminate psychotic symptoms but it caused massive, immediate weight gain for as long as one takes it. Naturally, I got very fat. I reached 184-190 pounds, which is actually lucky for somebody on anti-psychotics, as many of these new drugs can cause people to become super obese.
My boobs got obese as well. They swelled with the rest of me; from a tiny B cup to a DD cup to a size that I could not find in my local stores. Either the cup didn't fit or the band was so wide in circumference that it would not stay in place, but rather hung around my hips like a hula hoop. Manufacturers assume that people with a medium band have medium breasts and people with larger breasts have a very wide torso. I would make due with a 36DD until that became too small in the cups. I started shopping online to get bigger sizes. I fit the cups of a 38DDD but the band was too big and I wound up getting too many back aches.
I have been regularly exercising since April of last year. I have begun to count my calories and restrict them to 1200-1400 calories daily (I use "Calorie Counter" made by fitness pal, a calorie counting app for android phones). By using a stationary bike, a rowing machine, free weights, taking a judo class, a dance class, and doing aerobics at home, I have lost about 25 pounds from a year ago when I weighed 184. Now around 161 pounds, my boobs lost about 2 inches, but they are still on the large side.
I am still in the process of losing weight. I will stop when I get back to 131 pounds. I lost a lot of weight two years ago, dropping from around 180 to 130 pounds in a matter of months, but I did this through unhealthy means (i.e. crash dieting) and I gained all the weight back and probably damaged my metabolic system during the time when I was crash dieting. I will not crash diet again and if you are crash dieting, please stop! There are healthy ways to lose weight, they just take a little longer to get to your goal.
Anyways, I really hope I am still top heavy when I get to my ideal weight. I have become very fond of being buxom. No, it is not just because that is what men like. I want to look like a woman I could be attracted to (I am a closet bisexual), and my dream woman looks more like Marilyn Monroe than Paris Hilton.
One time, funny story, I was walking to a grocery store and I caught sight of a woman with an amazing, hour-glass figure. Her thick hips swayed as she walked and her waist was surprisingly narrow. I was so taken by her physical appearance that I was walking with my head turned to look at her as she passed. Then suddenly--BANG! I walked right into a pole. I got a little bruise on my cheek from slamming into the pole. I will always remember that woman and her amazing curves, she is my ideal in terms of physical appearance. As for personality, I love, love, love this girl who used to be in my British literature class. She was a fellow linguistics major, studied Japanese, and was so brilliant that she aced all her tests in all her classes.
Sorry, I keep going off on tangents, but I am not editing this at all. Right now I am just typing into the blog without a thought as to flow or coherence. Well, if William Burroughs can do it, so can I! :)
Thanks for reading!
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