Returning to Life

I'm done with term papers. Now I have nothing to do but exercise and sit at my computer reading through the comments on news websites. They really, really depress me, those comments. Whatever.

My mother told me stop reading the comments. I really cannot help it; I need to know the level of ignorance my fellow skitzes and I face. Believe me, the comments are not pretty.

I was going to quit blogging but I thought better of it. I've been blogging about my life and struggles with schizo-affective disorder for about a year now. I feel that I will be more productive to society if I prove that not all skitzes are sadists. Plus, if there is some skitz who is sitting at home, contemplating  suicide because of what society is telling him about himself and his medical condition, I want him to know that there is a path towards hope, healing and regeneration.

I was 19 when I had my first psychotic episode. It was my first year in college. I am 29 years old now. I still have the condition but it is in remission and has been for the past 3 years. I have my bachelor's degree, as of this spring. No, it's not from some shady online course. It's one of the Cal States. I worked periodically through the past ten years---no real careers, just cashier, pizza thrower, that sort of thing, but I held on to my jobs for years at a time. I have had a variety of romances, maybe one too many. I've also lost 25 pounds since last year, and I'm 158-160 right now. I am not defined by my mental illness. I am a graduate student, a laborer, an artist, a loyal daughter, and a supportive friend.

If you feel like you are having trouble with positive self-identity, please take the time to do what I just did: list all the positive things about yourself then write your name above the list. That list is you.

Good luck.