If I suddenly stop blogging it is because I am afraid of being outed as a former mental patient. I try to deceive myself into believing that everyone around me thinks I am crazy due to my quirks and neurotic personality. However, nobody has tried to coral me into the back of an ambulance where a burly EMT and a stretcher with the restraints wait. I must not be as insane as I once was, because before the burly EMT came every year, at least twice.
I prefer calm, dull life to the adrenaline spikes of psychosis and the inevitable period of confinement that followed. I blog just as proof that a former mental patient can lead a calm, dull life just like most of you. I want to show you the inside of a person with real mental illness, the horror, the irony, the ups and the downs. Still, I would not want my professors, classmates, or future employers to know. I can hide safely behind this computer screen from all of you who are critical, but in real life I get enough of that without everybody knowing I am medicated to the gills. If people found out I would be tempted to move. I would leave for a far off place, preferably Sweden.
So, if one day you find that I have deleted this little blog, it is because I got nervous that I may be outed for being certifiable.
Just to cheer myself up, I will now talk about people I admire. Kay Redfield Jamison is a researcher, PhD, and writer. I admire her. Elyn R. Saks is a lawyer, writer, and activist. I admire her. John Nash is a mathematical genius and Noble Prize winner. I admire him. They're all bipolar or schizophrenic. Okay, that cheered me up.
I prefer calm, dull life to the adrenaline spikes of psychosis and the inevitable period of confinement that followed. I blog just as proof that a former mental patient can lead a calm, dull life just like most of you. I want to show you the inside of a person with real mental illness, the horror, the irony, the ups and the downs. Still, I would not want my professors, classmates, or future employers to know. I can hide safely behind this computer screen from all of you who are critical, but in real life I get enough of that without everybody knowing I am medicated to the gills. If people found out I would be tempted to move. I would leave for a far off place, preferably Sweden.
So, if one day you find that I have deleted this little blog, it is because I got nervous that I may be outed for being certifiable.
Just to cheer myself up, I will now talk about people I admire. Kay Redfield Jamison is a researcher, PhD, and writer. I admire her. Elyn R. Saks is a lawyer, writer, and activist. I admire her. John Nash is a mathematical genius and Noble Prize winner. I admire him. They're all bipolar or schizophrenic. Okay, that cheered me up.
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