The news is unfolding this morning and it looks like the two suspects were brothers who came over from Europe, near the region of Chechnya. This is bewildering, sad, confusing, and infuriating.
All of Boston is shut down, no one is supposed to leave. Right now, the live news stream coming from Boston says that law enforcement is surrounding a house.
It was a terrible night of violence, more explosions, and shoot outs.
I have been having a hard time with going about my day-to-day life. I tend to get extremely nervous about national and global news. Maybe it's my mental illness, but I get really, really paranoid that something else is going to happen. I have become fixated with the news and I check for updates on multiple source websites every hour. I have been missing class to sit at home and listen to the news. This is all very distressing.
I went to class infrequently this week. It was odd, being friendly, smiling, and focused when inside I was shaken and fearful. Somehow, I managed to get a major class presentation done the day after the bombings. I felt like it was inappropriate to go about my life, but I did it anyways. I got a high B on the presentation. Not great, but good, especially considering I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
The period following 9/11 actually ignited my first psychotic episode. I was 18 years old and in the Bay Area going to a different university as a freshman. I became very delusional about everything. I was obsessed with a white van parked down the street. I would go outside to check if it was still there at every hour of the night, from 8 pm to 4 am. I also quit going to class. I was too wracked with personal paranoia, fear, and the belief that people's thoughts were being monitored. It was a very, very bad time to go insane.
I am afraid that I might have a harder time managing my mental illness. I don't want to become a reclusive hermit again. I do that when I go mad. Luckily, I have a bottle of anti-psychotics, anti-anxiety medicine, and anti-depressants. I am very grateful to the city for giving me these medicines.
I have been doing fine in my the grad classes but I've fallen behind in my math and programming class. I really have to pull off a magic trick to get good grades.
I'll have to compartamentalize this distress and pretend like everything in my petty life is still important.
Good luck to you and I hope that our nation finds a way to deal with this horror.
~Thinking of the MIT officer who was shot last night and praying for his family....and for all 140 victims from April 15th...my deepest sympathies are with you.
~~Electra
All of Boston is shut down, no one is supposed to leave. Right now, the live news stream coming from Boston says that law enforcement is surrounding a house.
It was a terrible night of violence, more explosions, and shoot outs.
I have been having a hard time with going about my day-to-day life. I tend to get extremely nervous about national and global news. Maybe it's my mental illness, but I get really, really paranoid that something else is going to happen. I have become fixated with the news and I check for updates on multiple source websites every hour. I have been missing class to sit at home and listen to the news. This is all very distressing.
I went to class infrequently this week. It was odd, being friendly, smiling, and focused when inside I was shaken and fearful. Somehow, I managed to get a major class presentation done the day after the bombings. I felt like it was inappropriate to go about my life, but I did it anyways. I got a high B on the presentation. Not great, but good, especially considering I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
The period following 9/11 actually ignited my first psychotic episode. I was 18 years old and in the Bay Area going to a different university as a freshman. I became very delusional about everything. I was obsessed with a white van parked down the street. I would go outside to check if it was still there at every hour of the night, from 8 pm to 4 am. I also quit going to class. I was too wracked with personal paranoia, fear, and the belief that people's thoughts were being monitored. It was a very, very bad time to go insane.
I am afraid that I might have a harder time managing my mental illness. I don't want to become a reclusive hermit again. I do that when I go mad. Luckily, I have a bottle of anti-psychotics, anti-anxiety medicine, and anti-depressants. I am very grateful to the city for giving me these medicines.
I have been doing fine in my the grad classes but I've fallen behind in my math and programming class. I really have to pull off a magic trick to get good grades.
I'll have to compartamentalize this distress and pretend like everything in my petty life is still important.
Good luck to you and I hope that our nation finds a way to deal with this horror.
~Thinking of the MIT officer who was shot last night and praying for his family....and for all 140 victims from April 15th...my deepest sympathies are with you.
~~Electra
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