Comment on Alleged "Mentally Ill" Shooter

I have to do this every time some sociopath gets mistaken for a schizophrenic. Every damn time.

Here is a check list for schizophrenia:

Hears voices/auditory hallucinations for a period of time
Sees visions/visual hallucinations for a period of time
May have beliefs of one of the following: aliens, UFO's, persecution by the federal government
May believe him/herself to be a prophet
Likely to be disorganized in thought and speech. Will speak in neologisms (made up words), clanging (nonsense rhymes), or word salads (random strings of words).
May not bathe, eat, sleep, drink, speak for a period of time
Extremely likely to feel paranoia mixed with fear, may believe him/herself to be politically oppressed.
If manic, patient will likely not sleep for days on end.
May speak out loud to imaginary voices.

So. There. The claims of this anonymous police source said "history of mental illness and hospitalization"---> due to THREATS TO HURT OTHERS. THAT is NOT mental illness, that is hatred, anger management, sociopathic behavior, and manipulation. Why the hell was he put in a mental hospital and not in jail?! It is a felony to yell 'fire' in a crowded theater, but to threaten to kill people is not a criminal offense but a "mental health issue"?!

Here is his check list:

Threatened to hurt others
Obsessed with spree killers and guns
Hatred
Anger

Where, I ask, does it say voices, visions, paranoia, aliens, talking to imaginary voices, and insomnia??
It does not. This is bullshit propaganda trying to blame all mental patients for the acts of an angry, degenerate scumbag who never had the prototypical experiences of severe schizophrenia.

I really wonder if I am paranoid about my persecution beliefs, because it seems like this general public and the media love to handle all angry people as "the mentally ill." No, I hate to break it to you, but the worst men in all of history have been psychologically normal (i.e. Hitler, Pol Pot, Stalin, Dr. Goebbels, Dr. Mengele, Bin Laden, and so on). If you never accept a normal person as capable of evil acts you will never be able to stop them. Keep rounding up mental patients as scape-goats and you'll just have a bunch of lawsuits on your hands and future killers roaming around free and clear. Accept it. Normal people murder other every day. 

Article/Video on Social Skills & Mental Dysfunction

I was reading an article on the Wallstreet Journal's website concerning social skills and how waning social skills might indicate mental dysfunction. I think these insights should be used as pre-emptive diagnostics, long before the dementia, autism, or schizophrenia wreaks total havoc on a person's life.

I know first hand that social skills, or rather, lack thereof, are signals of neurological illness. For myself, a schizo-affective, I know when my mind is sinking into illness when I think every compliment is sarcasm, every comment is a subtle jab at my intelligence or appearance, and when I spend five minutes secretly trying to decipher a facial expression that a person had for a split second.

I hope you find the article interesting. I posted the link below. The link goes to the Wallstreet Journal's website where both the article and an accompanying video can be found.

To all the schizophrenic or bipolar readers, please read the article and know that you have a neurological disorder that is not your fault and that there are warning signs you have that can help you to stop a potential episode before it ever happens. I can vouch for this; I've stayed out of Hospital since 2009 or 2010, compared to the yearly or bi-annual forced hospitalizations that I  had from between the ages of 19-25. I can definitely say that I owe my freedom and well-being to my family, to the outpatient programs, and to the recovery model in mental illness treatment which focuses on monitoring oneself on a daily basis and reinforcing positive thoughts.


http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323398204578489542660099544.html?ru=yahoo?mod=yahoo_itp

Controlling Symptoms on a Daily Basis

For anybody, graduate school and financial strife is stressful. For me, someone who has bipolar disorder with severe manic episodes (my schizo side of schizo-affective), stress takes on new meaning. Yet even this double amount of stress is possible to manage.

First, it is crucial to develop social skills required for college and life in general. This means learning to read people's body language, backing off when they turn away, smiling in return to a smile, and knowing how to understand a social boundary and where the boundary is drawn for different people. This can be a chore. It can also be embarrassing. When I am manic, I tend to be very extroverted, gushing over everybody, texting everyone on my cell phone, and generally being obnoxiously cheerful. When severely manic (read: psychotic) I withdraw completely, too afraid of being hurt that I retreat into the private domain of my bedroom. I dive into the intricate internal world of madness, denying the existence of real people in the process. When depressed, I also retreat into my bedroom, only to mull over the hopelessness of everything in general. As you can see, this affects my social life.

Learning to manage symptoms related to social skills is critical for well-being and a healthy recovery. I have to consciously remind myself that I must not raise my hand at every question when I am manic, or stare at the floor during an hour and a half lecture with a pained look on my face while depressed. It is all about moderation. Learning to compartamentalize the struggle of having a mental illness is important because it allows for appropriate social interaction. I understand that I am different and I try to "box" the parts of me that are illness-related. So, when I am manic, I put half my enthusiasm into a "box" and tape the lid down, mentally. When depressed, I put the sadness into the box and make infrequent eye contact with people around me, as I would normally do when in a neutral state.

I am still learning how to navigate around the world. My therapist says I have good social skills but I am still very nervous about my social skills. I like to practice on them by periodically taking up a conversation with someone I am not familiar with. I tend to smile and greet them, then ask them how they are doing in our classes. Then I back off a little or pretend like I need to go to the bathroom in order to make my escape.

So, I have found that with medication, a supportive network (I am lucky to have a great therapist and this blog), it is totally feasible to live a healthy life with friends and mentors. Thanks for reading!

On the Grid or Off the Grid: I Feel Ultra Paranoid

Being a paranoid schizo-affective can be cumbersome. I once spent 6 months off the grid. By this I mean, no bank account, no mail delivered to the address I resided at, no job, no income, no internet, no car, nothing. The only thing I had in my name was a Hollywood Video account. I spent my days watching movies curled up on the floor of a relative's house. I barely stepped outside. I had no friends. My sleep cycle had reversed itself due to mania so that I slept during the day and was awake from around 7 pm to 4 am.

I am better now, on medication, sleeping regular hours. I am back on the grid. From time to time I have phobias about being back on the grid. I fear having my identity released with all my private information. I fear having my clean record hacked into and/or being framed for crimes I did not commit. I fear being cyber-stalked or real life stalked (I recently had to block a former abusive person from sending me sexual and psychological harassing messages via my facebook account, so this is not me being uber paranoid).

Being part of normal society freaks me out. I really do not understand how people can do this. It is a very vulnerable thing to be: on the grid. In case you are reading this and wondering why I suddenly got very paranoid, it is just part of my cycling. I deal with it through therapy, writing, even blogging. I question my paranoid thoughts. I discuss my paranoid thoughts with trusted relatives and mental health professionals. I steer clear of former associations with shady people.

I am in the healing process still and this means I am will occasionally be a little hyper paranoid from time to time. Most of my skitzy brethren do not even go on the internet for fear that their every move is monitored by shady persons. This is a genuine moment, though, on what it can be like to be a paranoid schizophrenic.

If you excuse me, I have to go call for a refill for my meds. Haha, guess I did not need to tell you that, as my paranoia makes it pretty evident that I ran out this weekend. Darn pharmacy should really be open on the weekends!

Thanks for reading! I promise to write less paranoid gibberish next time! :) Smiley face.